Saturday, June 03, 2006


You know when you've had the perfect day? When you've taken your kids to the swimming pool for the first day of the season and you pushed them farther (further?) then they wanted to go and they kept saying no, no, no, but by the time it was time to leave they kept begging you to stay? All smiles because they'd gone down the slide they'd refused to go down at first? It was the best day ever and your oldest wishes she never ever ever ever ever ever ever had to leave?

Ah, yes. I had such a day. Half a day really. The two-year-old still needs his nap, and as his nap ran late, I checked the mail late and found a letter from a collections agency requesting $952.17.


You know when you've had the perfect day and then everything seems to go wrong and you call the collections agency and they tell you they are seeking payment on behalf of a long-distance company you've heard of and that you possibly used five years ago at your last address 200 miles south of your current one?

This must be your husband's fault, mustn't it ...but that doesn't make sense, why would it take this company five years to find you?

You know when you call that company to find out when, exactly, the account was opened and a recording tells you to call back during East Coast business hours, so you have to wait until morning, and you're feeling just sick about not knowing what the hell is going on?

And then in the morning you call and you find out the account was opened in November of '05 using your social security number for a residence in Middletown, NY -- a place you've never been to?

You know that feeling? And then you get this dark sense of forboding -- what else has your social security number been used for? What does your credit report look like now? How many people have your personal information?

You know that feeling? Yeah, me too.

So, that's what I was working on yesterday -- calling credit agencies and my bank and the police and calling on my inner strength to calm myself down because, as I tell my five-year-old daughter who has been yelling at the wind since she could talk instructing it not to blow hair into her eyes, you do not control the world, Nancy, and as careful as you have been with your credit and with your personal information, sometimes bad things happen...

...but not to good people like me, I counter! I mean I'm sure if these people knew me they'd never have stolen my personal information. I try to be nice to everyone!

Yes, even to people like you, especially to people like you!

No, Dark Nancy, shut up. Injured Nancy, take note: it can happen to anyone.

All right, then. I hope that clears things up. Let's all the Nancys wait for the credit report to come and see how we feel about it then. Agreed?

Agreed, Injured Nancy looked down at her feet.

Agreed, Dark Nancy scowled and then smirked.

Good. Collection of Nancys then turned to the computer, clicked on the tab she keeps up for her gym and checked when cycle class begins. Sarge was teaching, and it was sure to be a tough class.


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