Monday, December 31, 2007

Useful letters

American Medical Association
To Whom it May Concern:

I would like to report that Dr. Edward [Redacted], my family physician, recently informed me that I'd gained seven pounds this year.

Well. You can imagine my outrage. I don't blame him, per se, though he is in charge of my health and wellbeing, but I do have a bone to pick. Should this datum really be put on my medical record, making it a matter of historical record, I really do insist that he add my comments about some physical injuries we'd talked about throughout the year--tendonitis, bursitis, lower back pain, to name a few, and then of course, as a busy mother of young children, I can't always be relied upon to make it to the gym regularly. Which exercises do you suggest I do with all those ailments? I think you see my meaning.

I can't just go to the gym to watch others work out. My time is better spent with various correspondences and online work (yes, I'm quite Internet literate, thank you very much).

In any case, I do not write you so much to get him in trouble, but to request that you add my remarks (foot note them, if you must, with an asterisks--I don't mind); I think you will agree that since these extra pounds have been recorded for all of history to one day gaze upon, it's only fair and right that my remarks go along with it. Otherwise people might draw the wrong sorts of conclusions about me.

Thank you for your hard efforts in this endeavor; I know that you will do what's right.

Sincerely,

Nancy Matocha

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